Like everyone else in the world, I'm disgusted by Jason Mesnick, Former Bachelor and Perfectly Formed Little Man.
I thought he was a crybaby loser when DeAnna Pappas dumped him, and realized he was an even bigger asshole when he turned around and dumped Melissa Rycroft, a.k.a. the second woman he planned to marry on T.V.
(Yes, that's right, second. He had a ring all picked out for DeAnna, remember? Now he's on #3. Keep up!)
He didn't even have the class to do it off camera, or give her a heads up. Because he didn't want to break a contract. Such. A. Wuss.
But none of that matters now. He's yesterday's news, because tonight we get a new season of Dancing with the Stars, in all of its orange spray tan, glitter and sequin glory. At last!
And earlier today, DWTS transcended T.V. metareality when they announced that Melissa is joining their show!
Yes! Melissa is a last minute replacement for Nancy Dell, who is so weak that she got injured before the competition even started. Don't worry about something similar happening to Melissa, because she is scrappy.
What does America love more than a second chapter or a comeback story? Nothing! If Melissa can keep the beat, she could win it all!
And I think she has the potential to do really well.
Remember, Melissa was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader -- so she already has all of the necessary hair permanently removed, and she knows how to rock some belly baring choreography. We can even count on her to give Edyta a run for her money in terms of microscopic bedazzled bikini & gauze handkerchief costumes.
Now all we need is Jason the Perfectly Formed Little Man to show up in the audience with his sneaky babe, Bulgy Eyes Molly. Then Karina, who is not a chump, nor does she put up with them, can go over and punch his lights out while Maks looks on approvingly.
Thank you, reality show gods (and by "gods" I mean you brilliant mean gay producers) who conspired to create the best season of reality T.V. ever.
photo: NFL Cheerleaders Blog