wishbone clover

Irish Night at the Giants 2009

Shockingly, we forgot to bring a flag. Fortunately we were able to borrow an extra from the drunks Fine Irish Folk sitting everywhere around near us

Kelly Osbourne, DWTS Breakout Star

Amanda Beard, Natalie Coughlin the (other pretty) Olympic Swimmer (the one not in Playboy), might give Kelly a run for her money, but I'm going to come out early and call it for Kelly Osbourne. She has the fan base, hardcore experience with reality TV, a rehab story, hilarious and appealing (total famewhore) parents and surprisingly fast little feet.

Plus, her partner is Louis van Amstel, Prussian General DanceMeister Supreme, who is clearly sick-to-fucking-death of losing to those Hough children. 

You heard it here: Kelly Osbourne to win Dancing With the Stars Season 9!

Sorry Maks!

Shopping Dead Stuff or "Things You Find in Monterey"

Pet Sitting - The Joys of Emotional Blackmail

 

This is Dolly, my DIL. She wants to make you do her bidding.

It's that time of year again, when my in-laws plan a vacation, and at the last minute their dogcare plans fall through. So guess where they turn? To me, because they know I adore one of their dogs*, plus they know I'm a soft touch.

So that means Dolly the Dog-in-Law (DIL) is keeping me company this week. And I love the company, but man is she a manipulative little shit!

I've written before about her foxy good looks and fluffy tail. About how she calls me a pink ape and dares me to drop little blue bags of dog poo in mailboxes. And about the evil, stone-cold, killer heart that beats in her adorable doggy chest and makes her want to DESTROY other dogs, birds, garbage trucks, Fedex dudes ... the list is long, and in Dolly's mind unified by the belief that she MUST KILL THEM ALL.

 

Really? You think you're in charge? We'll see about that.

Since I believe in my own evolutionary superiority, and I've watched several episodes of Cesar Millan's Dog Whisperer show, we work things out. She's not allowed to pull on the leash. I make her sit and watch the other dogs -- and not lunge/growl/snarl -- as they walk by. She has to sit before we cross a street, and she's not allowed on the couch.

For the first few days of each visit, every single one of these rules is tested. Repeatedly. But by the end of a week, Dolly has come to terms with my way of doing these things.

That's when she gets creative. Like, today when she tricked me into taking her for an extra mid-day walk.

 

Hey! I gotta show you something! It's outside! C'mon, quick, before it's gone!

Dolly had me utterly convinced that an explosive dog diarrhea attack was imminent. She followed me around from room to room, sat outside the bathroom door, made little whining noises, and even barked a couple of times. She's not a barker, so that really got my attention.

When I picked up my shoes, she jumped around and did an excited dance. I didn't even finish tying them, just grabbed my keys and got her out the door. I fully expected her to make a beeline for the nearest patch of grass so she could poop or piss or whatever else she needed to do.

Nope.

She stuck her nose in the air, and skipped down the street, pleased as punch to be outside on a nice day. We went almost a full block before she bothered to stop and squat, and then hardly anything came out -- barely a dribble of pee!

In other words, that entire "follow-Cat-around-and-whine" song and dance was an act she cooked up because she was bored. And I fell for it.

That's okay. In fact, it's part of the fun, to get tricked by this crafty little dog. Plus she was right. It was more exciting to go for a walk than to watch me write for another hour.

 

Indeed, an afternoon papasan chair nap is much more enjoyable after a nice brisk walk in windy San Francisco.

*The Other Dog-in-Law

So yeah, there is a second DIL, whom I call "Other Dog". Because when I visit my in-laws it sounds like this:

"Hellllloooo Dolly!!!!!! How's my girl? Did you miss me? Oh yes you did!!!!!"

Tail wagging, hugs, and a general lovefest ensue. Then a sharp, nasty little bark breaks through the happy reunion Dolly and I are enjoying.

Seinfeld pause.

"Oh. Hello Other Dog."

I just never took to the little guy. Maybe it's his messed up tooth. Or maybe it's his piss poor attitude. Anyway, I don't know where he's staying this week, and I don't care. Because he's Other Dog. I don't even know his real name. It could be Tyler or Romaine or Queen Elizabeth. Don't ask me. 

 

Of course my father-in-law loves Other Dog. He probably even knows it's real name.

- Cat/BadKitty

Nun Fashion in Michigan - A Photo Essay of God's Wives' Closet

During our 40 Whatever/Ford-y Whatever trip through the glorious Great Lakes Region, my BFF CityMama & I were compelled to make an unplanned stop at the Cross in the Woods Catholic Shrine. Even though it was God's Will that we found it, we didn't feel like walking through the woods to see the actual "Cross" (because ew, woods + walking = no thanks, dirty!) but the stop was totally worth it just to experience the most wonderful and terrifying collection of dolls, possibly in the world.

It was a very special doll museum, containing over 300 dolls, in varying sizes, wearing horror movie expressions and dressed in the habits of nuns -- and priests -- from around the globe.

To my dismay, none of them were for sale, not the dolls or the costumes! And they were frustratingly well protected against crazy chicks who would have risked God's Wrath by shoplifting them, or even just experiencing the magic by running our their curious fingers over the embroidered "Jesus" whipples.

Spoilsports. But we took pictures. A lot of pictures.

Hey, We're in God's Wives' Closet!

Yes, that's the Mother Theresa habit on the far right. Take a good look, because that's as close as you're going to get to a Nun of Color in this collection. Apparently most nuns are white.

It would have been nice if Sally Field could have signed the Flying Nun costume below, but no such luck.

We learned that the best nuns are fully accessorized, with special embroidery and chunky beads.

Loving that light blue suit! And the modern, low-maintenance hair do! Also, who decided which sightless mannequins needed to wear glasses?

Everyone Loves the Pink Derek Lam Sunglasses

I picked up these fabulous pink Derek Lam cat's eye sunglasses for a steal at Loehmann's. But even if I had to pay full retail, they were coming home with me. My fingers went numb when I touched them -- they spoke to me.

Little did I know that everyone would find them as irresistible as I do! It's pretty much universal: family and friends ask to try them on and then strike a fun pose for the camera. What's a shutterbug to do? I snap away...

Ancient Help for Hump Day

luckycatphotography.com

I forget exactly where this thoughtful fellow began his life, but now he lives in the Metropolitan Museum in NYC, near the Assyrian stuff. I just love his friendly, solicitous expression, and those hands.

God how I love those hands.

I have decided that he is a magic talisman, ready to help me -- and anyone else with a crazybusyrushed Wednesday -- get through another 12 hour day. 

You're welcome.

- Cat/BadKitty

Julz Rulz - Be Badass and Cool When Driving a Muscle Car

Among other activities, last week I raced down to North Carolina to visit my sister and meet her new husband "Sgt Hottie" -- he has great legs!

Julz and I always have the best time hanging out together -- as her husband says, "Julie is good company." She also has her own set of hot legs, and a badass attitude, which is how she gets away with wearing those aptly named Daisy Dukes.

Yes, I said aptly named. Note the car on which Julz is leaning: a Charger Dodge Challenger (thanks Alex, for catching my slip up!) the one with the 6.1 Hemmie under the hood. Not ringing any bells? Try to imagine it with a more colorful paintjob, like orange, with a confederate flag painted across the top.

It's a goth General Lee! Cool, right?!

Plus it has cup holders for her morning venti iced coffee with skim milk and 2 pumps of sugar-free vanilla, aka "The Julz." Order it by name next time you go to a drive thru Starbucks in North Carolina. They'll know exactly what to do, and you'll be (nearly) as cool as she is.

- Cat/Bad Kitty

One of my Favorite Picnics Ever

A great day in May: Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge, enjoy a picnic lunch by the giant sailor statue on the other side, and take tons of pictures along the way.

A perfect day in May: Doing the above with my dad, "Mr. San Francisco Legs '09."

Cool Stuff I've Been Doing ... at StyleList

I just got a reminder from the lovely ladies at BlogHer that I've been neglecting this sweet blog. That will never do, but this week I'm super busy with my family visiting to celebrate my 40th birthday month.

Rather than freak out about coming up with a clever post, I thought I'd share where I've been for the past couple of months. Since there is a lot of fun, new stuff, I decided to break it up over a couple of posts.

This first one is about what I've done lately at StyleList, namely a ton of interviews, including:

• Martha Stewart -- and some quotes even got picked up by NY Magazine!
• Madonna's make up artist, Gina Brooke, of Shu Uemura, gorgeous and gracious
• Project Runway's Christian Siriano -- who was a total sweetheart!
• Celebrity stylist and extension guru Ted Gibson
• Tom Brokaw -- yes, the real one -- about style and character
• Ali Hewson (Bono's wife!) on "Sustainable Fashion"
• I'm now one degree of separation from Cutest Beatle Paul McCartney, thanks to an interview with his designer daughter, Stella McCartney (also, I disavow the bitchy tone, which came from a very heavy handed editing job) 
• Another hair giant, Sally Hershberger who talked about how to give your hair guts, using her AMAZING new Shagg line
• Albert Kriemler, AKRIS designer, and fine Swiss gentleman
• Naeem Khan, designer of the finale dresses in the movie Dream Girls, and also an amazing gentleman

Bonus post: my BFF Baby and I did a Dior Master Makeup Class at Neiman Marcus and then had delicious drinks while wearing ridiculous amounts of makeup. That's me, covered in bronzer, standing between master makeup artists Becky Watkins, on the left, and Karen Hummel on the right.